Coooold!

No…I’m not a spectator at a Brazilian soccer match screaming GOOOAA-(inhale)-AAALLL! I am an icy Wisconsinite getting my ass out of bed at 6am to play musical parking spots with my father so he can leave for work this morning. And that scream…that was not a fanatic celebration of a score well earned…instead it was a noise of sheer agony as my pajama-clad ass slid into the frigid flipin’ driver seat of my ’99 Chev Lumina. Forgive me for not annunciating properly…the word that escaped my lips was “COLD!” Thanks for your time. I just wanted to set the record straight.