Spleen Chronicles

I can be pretty hard on myself every now and again. But really? Who isn’t? Everyone’s got their insecurities and moments of self-doubt. I just feel like I have them more than others….no, that’s petty. I take that back. I’m not so important that I can proclaim moments of self-doubt are more frequent  or stronger than others. And who cares if I feel a little bad sometimes. Americans are far too obsessed with being happy. It’s perfectly normal to be unhappy sometimes. I’m sure I’m just another cog in the machine and there are thousands of others who are in much worse circumstances than I. I need to quit being such a whiner. I need to step up my game. (more…)

I had been looking for a good, cheap 10 speed bike. I figured the exercise would be nice and I really do miss tearing around the neighborhood.  I decided I would keep an eye out to pick one up at the curb-side mall or a garage sale somewhere. As it turns out my parents acquired one that was left by a former tenant. It is, in all it’s glory, a purple and blue Magna Glacier Point Women’s 26″ 10 speed bike. (more…)

I had always been good, for the most part. I never gave my folks much trouble, abided the law, adhered to social norms—but it was boring. The goody-two-shoes life that I had been leading left me feeling lukewarm and unfulfilled. I needed excitement. I was looking for a thrill. Well, as fate would have it, the thrill found me.

I was minding my own business at work last Tuesday afternoon when I received a mysterious call. I hesitated. My phone rarely rings, for which I am grateful. I hate talking on the phone. A quick glance at the small display told me it was an unlisted number. Doubly odd. If I ever receive a call its, with rare exception, from another campus phone.

Reaching for the receiver, I drew in a deep breath and prepared to recite my chipper telephonic greeting, “Good afternoon! Marketing and University Communication—this is Kimberly.”

Silence.

As I opened my mouth to speak again, an unrecognizable female voice poured from the receiver. “Kimberly, hello, this is Dawn with the MDA. I’m calling to notify you that someone—someone who wishes to remain anonymous—has accused you.”

I was at a loss for words. Dawn who? What’s the MDA? Caught off guard, I could only rudely sputter, “Wha-accuse ME? Of WHAT?!”

Dawn continued, unaffected by the tone of my response as if she had heard thousands like it before, “You’ve been accused of having a big heart.”

I rolled my eyes. Thank you, lady, for wasting my time. I’ll openly admit I’ve got a big butt, large thighs, and an ample waistline, but a big heart is not among my identifying features. Truth be told, I’m really quite self-centered. Either Dawn was giving me a line or her informant was poorly-informed. Before I could say I’m so sorry, you’re so sadly mistaken, my Grinchy little heart is two sizes too small, her voice became urgent.

“An accusation of this severity is not to be taken lightly. You’ve got until 1pm Wednesday, May 20, 2009 to raise $1,600 that will prove the greatness of your heart and win your freedom. If you cannot reach your goal, you will be taken into custody given an hour to call as many acquaintances as you can to help you to post bail.”

I nearly shouted into the phone, “SIXTEE—Sixteen hundred dollars!” Struggling to control the volume of my voice, “My heart isn’t even that big! It’s tiny! Times are hard. I don’t have that kind of money to give away, nobody does!”

Her voice softened then, but still conveyed authority. “Those with big hearts rarely act alone. They rely on the strength and resources of friends, family, colleagues, and acquaintances. Yes, times are hard, but think how much harder they are for non-profit organizations receiving dwindling donations. The money you raise will not go to waste—it will help bring a better life to children with Muscular Dystrophy.

“To help you achieve your goal, we will send you pledge materials and give you a secure online donation account. It will be up to you to do the rest.”

And so I became involved with the MDA. I may have sensationalized the account a tad, but the important parts are true. I was looking for a thrill to make me feel alive again, and I’ve accepted a daunting challenge. Now I’m in over my head and I’m counting on good friends with kind hearts to help me reach my goal.

On Wednesday, May, 20 I’m getting “Locked Up for Good” in support of the Muscular Dystrophy Association.

They’ve set my bail at $1,600—enough to send a two children with muscular dystrophy to MDA Summer Camp.

If supporting me to raise funds for MD interests you, please, let me know. I’ve got a pledge form and I can take cash, check, credit card…there’s even an option to donate online, if you’d prefer that.

Thank you for your consideration.

Kimberly Vlies MDA Lockup Page

Ah…Valentine’s Day. A day for commerce and candy and flowers and dates and dining out. With a gift-shop holiday so deeply rooted in the profit margin on an I-love-you message, it makes me wonder if anyone is loved any less during these “tough economic times.” Or, could it be that they’re loved more?

Valentine’s Day lands on a Saturday this year. More couples have more time to devote to today than the usual week-day valentine’s day. They don’t need to pack all of their love into a single over-whelming gift purchase. They have the time to make it more about spending time together. They can plan mini-weekend getaways, or a nice dinners at home with a cozy night in.

Well, they all say the best things in life are free. So my Valentine’s day gift to you is a free coloring sheet.

There is a tremendous evergreen in my living room right now. Remarkably, the very living room that I had previously believed to be rather generous in size has been dwarfed by a holiday decoration.

I was spoiled by last year’s installation of the “natural” Christmas tree. Said natural tree was harvested directly from the Northwoods by my own Papa and had never been pruned unless perhaps by a hungry whitetail or rogue porcupine. The tree looked great out in the woods, but by the time we erected it in the living room, the festive trimming appeared to be nothing more than a bare spindle with a branch or two every 6 inches or so.

What we lovingly referred to as “The Charlie Brown Tree” had it’s benefits. Every ornament on that tree was in perfect view. Foot traffic could easily maneuver around it in spite of hearty holiday-fed figures. Most importantly, it did not obscure the view of the television set, thanks to the sparse foliage. Nonetheless, it was a little disappointing to behold and I think my parents may have felt a little bad for supplying such a dismal “first tree.”

To make amends, they promised the largest of the manicured double-balsam firs lining their hunting cottage property front. Papa insisted the tree had grown too large to prune and that he’d prefer to cut it down and transplant a smaller one to fill it’s place. I eyed up the gorgeous, full evergreen and took him up on his offer. We cut it down and they delivered it on their way back to town after the gun-hunting/Thanksgiving festivities just today.

As the case tends to be, the tree didn’t look nearly as big in the front yard as it does in the comfort of my living room. It’s too big for my tree stand and leans unfortunately to the side. We struggled and grunted turning the tree and cutting it so that it just might fit. Papa muttered excusing “a few” dried oak leaves among the branches I’d need to clean up…and wouldn’t you know it, a robin’s nest? How did that thing not fall out? He recommended tying it to the front window treatment and propping up one side of the stand with a block. It obstructed two lanes of traffic to our furniture and left our modest CRT television set only marginally visible.

Don’t worry…Christmas is not ruined…I just needed to relate this story because I think it’s funny. It really doesn’t look bad now and I do think it’s sort of neat that there’s an actual discarded nest among the branches. I may need to find a bird ornament to light on the edge. I’ve pruned the branches back significantly and moved the furniture slightly, cleaned out the oak leaves and put a board under the stand. It actually looks pretty nice…and the TV is visible enough to meet our needs. The house is beginning to look festive.

On Wednesday, May, 21 I’m going to get “Locked Up for Good” in support of the Muscular Dystrophy Association. It’s been a hectic week so I’m afraid I’ve been slacking on collecting donations to make bail.

I set my goal at $250 and I’ve collected $65 so far. I’m very appreciative of the donations I’ve received thus far, but I’ve still got a ways to go.

If supporting me to raise funds for MD interests you, please, let me know. I’ve got a pledge form and I can take cash, check, credit card…there’s even an option to donate online, if you’d prefer that.

Kimberly’s MDA Bail/Donation Site

Thank you very much for considering a donation.

As an adult newly carving my way through the real world, I have done my best to make intelligent decisions weighing the responsibilities of being out on my own. A large part of that is managing money. I’ve been intentional about saving money. After all, my parents raised me saving.

I learned from an early age to rescue long lost pocket change, left to fend for itself on a deserted sidewalk, making it feel right at home in my elaborate change bank. It was really cool…I could drop a coin in the slot and a system of levers would carefully gauge the weight and, with perfunctory clatter, would expertly sort the change into the appropriate column by monetary value. Each of these shining columns of wealth were graduated, making it clear how much the cache of cash was worth. When the glorious day came that the columns were filled, mom and I would make a trip to the bank on the corner and I’d make a deposit and the process would start over again.

So…we’ve established that I think saving is important. I opened a money market account with emigrantdirect.com about a year ago at 5.5% interest with the convenience of an online FDIC insured account seemed like a fantastic deal…which it was. I could save my money AND not loose money to the rate of inflation. I went back to my account to see that the APY had since dropped to 2.75%. I checked the inflation rates, and they have not been below 4.0% since the beginning of the year. Crap…I’m losing money just by having money…and I don’t even have that much. And I need to save…what if my car would crap out on me? Or the furnace would die? The government wants me to spend and stimulate the economy…splendid. I’ll pay their stupid $600 economic stimulus back to them in taxes in the coming year.

OHMYGOSH! I have a house! I closed on Friday and I’m still blown away with the fact that I’ve done it. ME! A homeowner! Yippee!

Yesterday I shopped around for dehumidifiers and lawn mowers, of all things….poured over in-store paint displays and bought painting supplies…I made a regular day of it! It payed off…I figure I spent over $400, but I feel I’ve made intelligent purchases. Yippee!

On an un-related note…I smell like a candy cane right now. On Friday morning I woke up with terrible muscle pain/stiffness/soreness in my neck and shoulders, to the point that I can’t really move. At first I blamed it on sleeping in an odd position, but I’m growing convinced that it’s because I’ve stopped taking my group exercise classes. I imagine it’s a muscular response to a drastic change in activity levels.

I tried ibuprofen, which I can’t tell if it helped…the pain is pretty acute. The only thing that really seems to improve my mobility is flexing and stretching the muscles, but that hurts like all get-out. I can’t tell if it makes it hurt less, or maybe it just feels good when the anguish stops. I used Ben-Gay® for the first time this morning, hence the candy-cane smell. That feels pretty good, comparatively.

I’m trying to stay mobile…it seems to hurt the worst after periods of rest. It’s just really hard to keep moving when it’s so sore!

It is with an odd mix of excitement, elation, and regret (for leaving my friends at my current job) that I formally announce that I have been offered and accepted a web designer position with UWGB.

I was made aware of a Web Designer job opening with UWGB by a close friend who knew how much I’ve always wanted to work for a university. Admittedly, I hadn’t really considered the job at that point. It wasn’t until after a second friend, purely by coincidence, sent me notification of the same position.

Without any intention of actively looking for another job, the odd chance that two friends sent me the same employment posting drew me to take a closer look at the description. This job would mean a pay increase, an opportunity to grow, and above all, the chance to realize my dream of working for a university.

I took what I thought was a shot in the dark and submitted an application. To my surprise, they called me in for an interview. Still doubting my chances of actually getting this job, I prepared my portfolio and met with the hiring committee. They have just offered me the position and I responded that I would appreciate having the weekend to consider it.

I did not aspire to leave Envano, but I have decided that working with UWGB is an opportunity that I can’t pass up. I want you to understand that I was not driven to look elsewhere, but simply took a chance at what I saw was an opportunity to grow. I have had over two very happy years with the company. Now it’s time for me to move on. My first day is October 1, 2007 and I couldn’t be more excited.

Hi, Everyone!

I’m just writing a quick message to let everyone know that I’m doing a lot better these days! I’ve accepted the counter offer and the wheels are in motion for me to own my first home ever! Yay!

I’m working on getting my portfolio online…if all goes well, it will be up later this week. I’ll keep you posted for when that happens.