Monthly Archives: February 2006

Well, my sister and I resolved our differences last night at water aerobics. After 40 minutes or so of ackward silence, we had a dialogue that went something on the order of this: “I’m not mad at you. Are you … Continue reading →

I pissed my sister off pretty good tonight…for both my mother and I. She left without so much as saying goodbye to either of us…the fun sort of passive-agressive bull we’ve come to expect from ourselves during any of our … Continue reading →

I should just get “The World’s Biggest F-ckup” tattooed to my forehead…censored, of course. I’d hate to offend anyone. You see…everyone has got to excell at something…everyone’s got a niche…a knack… It just so happens that I’ve got an extraordinary … Continue reading →

A volcano zit has just recently taken up residence on my forehead…I love it when geological formations develop on my face. Thank goodness for Dr. Burt’s Herbal Blemish Stick. It works remarkably well. So…I’ve just seen the goatse and tubgirl … Continue reading →

I get irrationally pissed off, sometimes…and quite frankly, I really enjoy doing it. I don’t understand the appeal…especially not for me. You see, my goal in life is to make people like me. The way I measure my self worth … Continue reading →

I’m seriously considering the logistics of bringing my coffee into the shower with me… It makes perfect sense…both are wet and hot and wake me up in the morning! …And no…I’m not making some perverse joke…suggestive innuendo…no. Sickos. It just … Continue reading →